It's been over a year...

Time is funny that way. Sometimes it feels like it is creeping by and sometimes it feels like it is slipping through my fingers. I just realized today that this month (October) marks my one year anniversary of becoming an official housewife (or domestic engineer). It has been an interesting year. I have had tough times adjusting to my new role outside of corporate America and inside the home. I have had to learn to create new success factors that differ greatly from the ones that I strived for in the corporate industry. I have learned patience, cleaning and organizing tips, the importance of scheduling my chores and errands, and, most importantly, how incredibly fortunate I am to be in such a great place in my life.

I think the hardest adjustment is/was adjusting to my new role in general. I think this is still a challenge for me. Not everyday. But it is still something I struggle with from time to time. I have worked full time in some capacity ever since I was 16. My goal was to have a great career, make money and be the biggest and best in the field of my choice. Luckily, I can say that I did accomplish this goal in many ways during my 20's. I was full on career driven and worked my way to a great position in the meeting, event and production industry. My career peak was owning my own company and bringing over high level clients from the company I left to start it. I have worked with big names such as Intel, GE Appliances, Wal-Mart, Arby's and many others. I felt very confident in my abilities and brought in a substantial income.

This leads to success factors. I have always held high standards for myself. I wanted the biggest and best clients. I wanted them to challenge me on out of town events to make me work hard and be a hero for their team. I wanted to make good money and I wanted to be the best at what I did. Those were my success factors. Add in that I worked from home when I owned my business and I believe I can say that I hit many of the success factors that I set for myself.

Being a housewife is a little challenging in this regard. You no longer have a client other than yourself and your husband. Even your own stepdaughter doesn't really give a rats butt what you accomplished for the week. And, really, how hard is it to dust a table or scrub a john? It sure isn't rocket science and it really doesn't lend to a "successful" feeling. Not like the ones I am used to in the corporate world. You know, the client that sends you the awesome "atta boy" about how you saved their ass from certain elimination??

Instead, I now rely on feeling good about accomplishing my chores throughout the week. Fixing dinner every night and hearing T talk about how much he enjoys my cooking and how much he appreciates a clean house has become my new "atta boy" message. Instead of keeping them stored in a file folder in my desk drawer, I try to keep them locked in my brain for those days when I just don't want to think about mopping the damn kitchen floor.

I have definitely learned patience in this new role. Patience with T's expectations (he actually doesn't have many if any at all - therefore, it is probably patience with my perception of T's expectations), patience with my expectations and patience with my anxiety of wanting to get out there and bust some freelance meeting planning ass again! Just as I am human, not everyday is a stellar day for me in the area of patience. I am very hard on myself and expect myself to run circles around this house and make it spotless clean every day of the week - that IS my job, is it not? I NEVER watch TV during the day, I only take a 30 minute break for lunch (and that is when I try to check my useless emails), and I don't stop working until well past 5 PM (punching in at 7 AM or earlier) and not until dinner is cooked, served and cleaned up.

The days that I feel that I fail are the days that I don't get certain chores done that I feel should have been done that day. They aren't in stone anywhere (except maybe my Outlook calendar) but they are in front of me all day. They are in my mind's eye and are the EXACT chores that I MUST get done in order to reach my own success factor that day. I make it a priority to myself and I am my own worst/best critic. If I slack, I feel it. And I will beat myself up over it and work even harder the next day to make up for it.

Being pregnant hasn't helped matters. To be fair, I am sure if I were working at a desk job during this pregnancy, there would be days that I would be slacking in the office as well. You know, sneaking a day of Facebook chatting or taking a long lunch to nap in the car. Especially during the first trimester when I felt like I had the eternal college hangover! I certainly cannot imagine going into the last place I worked feeling like I did then. Especially since I felt so sick just driving to that place when I wasn't pregnant at all!

I feel very fortunate that T and I are in such a great and stable financial place that I can stay home, take care of the house and, eventually, be home to take care of our child. I feel that, part of my role as housewife, is to make the house run as efficient as possible. Reminding T of important appointments, when Tay has a half day at school or when we are to meet friends or family.

Another part of my "job" is to be as cost effective as possible. I clip coupons from the paper, from the internet and I am always looking at fliers for sales. If I am not bringing in an income, my responsibility is to use our one income wisely. This includes cooking with leftovers, buying meat on sale and freezing it for later use, and always being aware of our inventory so that we don't overstock unnecessarily.

A third area of my job is to do research on cleaning and organizing tips. Finding ways to keep the house "sweet," as we call it, without spending a ton of money. Craigs List has become a very familiar site for me. I have put many items on the site and we have made quite a bit of loose cash from it. My contribution to our household funds!

We are very organized with our accounts and have no debt other than the house and, now, the family truckster! This has us living pretty well and not worrying about money. At least not yet. I don't know how a baby will factor in but, with T and I both being the "over the top" organized planners, we are pretty sure that we will be able to tackle the expense of a child pretty well. Especially with his experience of already having a little one!

Looking back, I still have some frustrations and hurt from my last place of employment. It was such a disappointment. I was disappointed in myself for putting so much effort into a team that didn't appreciate it. I was disappointed that I left such a solid job to take one with a small company that I didn't realize was managed so poorly. I was disappointed that I did so much to cover asses that should have remained bare. But everything happens for a reason!

And now, here I am - one year later - blogging about my success in the housewife role. As I slowly learn the ropes of this new position, I am finding that I can be successful here as much as I was in the outside world. I miss planning events but now I plan our week. I plan our menu, our grocery list, our chores and our lives. That's a lot of logistics! I am very lucky to have the best "boss" in the world and it doesn't hurt that he is super cute! And I don't think I have ever felt such appreciation from a manager as I do at this point in my life.

And the appreciation goes BOTH ways. I appreciate his willingness to be the sole supplier in our family. I appreciate his hard work ethic and his dedication to the company he works for. I appreciate his long hours at times and his frequent out of town travels. He works hard, not only because he enjoys what he does, but because he wants the best for our family. This helps me do the best I can to make the house as welcoming, comfortable, clean, organized and smoothly ran so that he can relax in a peaceful environment after a long day.

I appreciate the opportunity to try out the "stay at home Mom" concept. Not many women have that opportunity - although some don't want that opportunity - but those that do, but can't, makes me realize that I am very lucky to be in the position that I am. And I am truly grateful.

I am looking to broaden my horizons over the next year. I may join a book club that Jill is putting together, I am planning on putting together a Bunco group for next year, and I am looking into joining a Mom's Group here in town that also has a Board of Directors and many events to plan...maybe I could help in those areas! But I do want to get out there and be out there. It is very important to me.

So one year down with this new experience and here we are starting a new year with a whole new experience about to take place. I am excited to see how we grow. T and I talk often about how lucky we are that he works from home and I will be a stay at home Mom. He will get to spend as much time as he can when he isn't on a call or answering an email and I will be able to put Cashew in a stroller for a walk through our neighborhood walking trails when baby is screaming and T is on calls. It may not always be easy but it will be nice that we have such flexibility with our schedules. I don't have to worry about when I have to "get back to work" and T (with his Blackberry in tow) can multitask baby and work when needed.

Housewife Year Number One has been one of much adjustment and a learning curve for me but I wouldn't trade the time I have had here at home and with T for anything in the world. I am a very lucky woman and, for the next year (and many years to come), I will continue to appreciate the opportunity - AND THE LOVE - that T has given me (and continues to give me). Our future is bright!