Ok, back to my poor, stagnant blog. I have definitely left it to wilt for way too long. But life of a blog is eternal and it has been sitting here waiting for me to get motivated to write again.
And here I am.
Without a single doubt, things have changed over the ridiculous amount of time I have been absent and I think my eyes would cross if I tried to get you caught up from my last post to this one. Let's just summarize by saying; I have an amazing NINE year old stepdaughter (Tay) who is quickly going on 16 and absolutely beautiful beyond a Glamour magazine! I have the smartest, funniest and sweetest three year old I have ever known (H) - and I should add spirited. You know when she walks into a room! And we recently, just over 7 months ago, welcomed our newest baby girl (E). She is has proven to be an old soul with the unique beauty of dark hair and blue eyes - different from the other girls!
Ok, somewhat caught up.
I thought I would start my posts with any interesting highlights of my day. Today, I used all ten toes to push my butt to the gym. After missing Monday due to Easter cleanup needs and Tuesday, which I always miss due to H's gymnastics class - I was half tempted to skip the rest of the week and resume next week. Add to it that T needs the car Friday morning, it would only be a two day work out week which doesn't even seem worth it. But I went.
After the gym, the girls and I went to Eegees, a local "deli" - I use that term very lightly - fast food joint that locals ADORE. I have grown to enjoy it. I think it is something you must adopt if you live here.
The one that we frequented today has the largest line for a drive thru almost all day long. After waiting quite a while to place and then receive our order, I realized as we drove away that they forgot to give me my tea. The only real thing I was looking forward to! The challenge then is having a three year old and a baby in the car. I used my hands as a scale - pulling both kids out to go in and get my tea or skip it. More times than not, I would have just moved on and tried not to think about how much I wanted that tea. Today, I wanted that tea!! So I went back through the drive thru, had a few laughs with the employees and enjoyed my tea!! H even cheered for me as we drove away "yay Mommy, yay Mommy!" Gotta love having your own cheering committee!
Then grocery shopping. This isn't a simple process with two kids. Especially when you get half way through the store and your recently potty trained daughter cries out that she needs to pee. That is when you run down Grandma Nelda and the big man in the grocery go cart to get to the nearest bathroom that is nowhere near "near". And then you have to unload the baby, grab the diaper bag, oh don't forget my phone in the cart, pull out the three year old and lug everything into the big stall of the bathroom. Then there is the balancing of the baby while you help the three year old unsnap her jean shorts (what was I thinking with those)...oh it goes on.
Let's say that a short shopping list ended up being a two hour trip (a two hour trip).
Once home, my favorite part (insert sarcasm here) of unloading the car, getting the old out of the fridge to make room for the new and the rest of the fun of putting away groceries. Right in time to make dinner! It was a busy day but at least something was accomplished.
A lot was accomplished including an epiphany I had at lunch.
I have been pretty bummed lately about working out so hard and eliminating so many things from my diet - some of which are things that make me happy and help me make it to five o'clock everyday. I feel like I am making sacrifices that are greater than the benefits I am seeing. I know it takes a while to lose weight but here comes the epiphany...I am a 41 year old mom of two babies (well 3 and 7 months). I have never had the body of a supermodel and never will. No matter what I do. Add to that, my body has been through it with two pregnancies. It will never be the same as it was before kids...or even before Emma.
Life is short. I want to keep working out because I enjoy how it feels. And I will watch my portions. At least most of the time. But I am not going to define myself by lbs lost or by new concepts on how to eat, not eat, what to eat, what not to eat, just eat grass and an ounce of chicken...it just isn't my style. Or the style of my family. I am going to enjoy food. Real food. In moderation. Or not if it is a special day of the week. Or days of the week.
It felt like a weight had lifted. I need to love me for who I am right now. Not some skinny chick I envision myself to get to. Ain't gonna happen. Even if I lost the weight, I am sure I will be trying to find ways to hide the dangling skin that would remain. As a woman, I will never be satisfied with my body. Therefore, I should live freely so that I have something to grab ahold of - other than fat and flabby skin.
On that note, I will end my first post with my 2013 goals I put together at the beginning of the year:
- Lose 50 lbs by Dec 1 - I will be happy to just drop one size. I'm not going to stress about it. Instead I am going to buy a wardrobe to flatter my mommy body.
- Exercise more...eat less - this is actually happening compared to how much I exercised and ate last year.
- Healthier meals - here and there
- Become more organized - this is ongoing I'm sure and will probably be more perfected when all kids are in school. Since that is a ways away, I will try to organize one area a week and report back here.
- Be more cost efficient - this is definitely in the works. T and I came up with a budget for groceries and I am trying very hard to come under every month. I will post more about our new menu and grocery plan tomorrow.
- Weekly menu with a new recipe each week - I am actually doing monthly menus with a new recipe peppered in there probably every week or every other.
- Keep car clean - working everyday on this but, with the size of our family...it isn't easy. But H loves the car wash so the outside stays looking pretty nice!
- Send more cards & homemade items from the kids to family - total slacker here but definitely hope to ramp this up.
- More date nights with T - we've had a couple but still not enough! Progress needed!
- More time spent with friends - definitely sucking at this unless you count play dates. I miss my single or kid-less friends. I feel it is definitely my responsibility to reach out and, with the days flying by before my very eyes, I have to hit pause on my video and make some much needed plans with my friends!
- Do one craft project per week - I think I meant either on my own or with the kids. I honestly haven't done either. Need to work on this. Noted!
My lifetime goals:
- Be a GREAT wife - I do my best as busy as we are. I feel T and I are an amazing team. We have our unspoken roles that we fit into very well. But I know I could always improve as a wife.
- Be a GREAT mom - or the best I can be. I work on this everyday and only time will tell.
- Be positive...no matter what - I have my moments but I think I am very positive (with a little help from my tiny friends Lexapro
- More patience - H has taught me tons of patience and I feel like I have come a long way. Again, Lexapro has to take a little credit too.
- Drink more water - there's water in beer right? No, I have been drinking more water. And tea.
- Play hard! - My favorite of them all! I am probably the best at this one!
On the menu tonight was...spicy chipotle black bean patties, couscous with sundried tomatoes and feta and a small salad.
Until next time...
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