Drama - no thanks!

Is it everywhere?  Is it in every family?  Is it just the law of the land?  What is the deal with drama? 

We use the word in many ways - a movie that is a "drama", the book that is a "drama", the girl at work who starts "drama", why can't I get away from "drama"?

I do think we sometimes bring it upon ourselves.  But, when it really isn't our doing, how do you find a way to move past it?  To not respond to it?  To not feed into the madness?

Someone close to me has really hurt me...many times.  I am sure this person knows that they have - maybe they are in denial.  Maybe they have played the "I'm such a great person, an all-around hero, the perfect person in my role" so much that they have come to believe that they ARE, in fact, doing the right thing by saying certain things or doing certain things.  When, in fact, they are pushing someone away.  Me.

Many thing have happened throughout my life by this one person and it feels like a continuing saga that just may never end.  I feel a constant struggle to express my feelings and to state my side without any success.  In fact, instead of trying to understand my words, they have been turned against me and used as a sword.  Cutting me in all of the vulnerable places that they are completely and totally aware of.  No lie.  It is hurtful.

In the last couple of days, I came across something that cut me yet again.  At first, I went numb and didn't feel the stab.  Then, I became angry and wanted to instantly retaliate.  Where am I now?  I think I am finally getting to a point in my life that I just have to move on from negative people like that.  I can play nice and put on a smile when I have to but I won't forget.  I don't forget.  There have just been to many bad plays over the years and I just can't forget that.

But I can take the higher road.  I can try to put it out of my mind (impossible of course) and not raise a stink.  I feel other's would be affected by my actions if I retaliated with my feelings.  Although I do wish I could get these feelings out there.  I have to ask myself...what good would it really do?  Do I think this person will ever understand?  Or even try to understand?  The answer is a steadfast NO.  They are only looking out for themselves and they are bitter because of their jealousy.  No one wins in that game.  So why play?

I will probably continue to deal with this mess.  I honestly don't believe it will ever end.  It hurts more and more every time and I take another step back from this person every time.  Maybe my feelings will be heard and taken into account when I step so far back I become invisible.  Maybe not.  Jealousy is a hard emotion to break.  This all makes me very sad.

As I said, I was going to reciprocate but, at the moment, I may just sit this one out.  Those that could be affected are very dear to me and I have to think of that as well.  I just wish the DRAMA would STOP!  Life is too short, my friends!  And there are so many positive things to focus on (thanks to my Aunt Brenda for pointing that out to me). 

I know that I have created drama and have hurt people along the way.  To them I say, I am so sorry.  I should have thought about this person who has continued to try and manipulate me and my family while playing "good person" on the outside.  This person has cut me deep and I will never feel the same way about them again.  I just can't.  I guess this is how you feel about me.

The moral to this story...think before you start a bunch of crap.  Is it worth it?  Who is it going to hurt?  What good will it do?  If any?  Let's all take a moment RIGHT NOW and smile at someone.  If you are alone, smile at yourself in the mirror.  Or smile at your furry baby.  Whatever.  Just smile dammit!  Let's start making life a more positive experience.  If you want drama...go to CNN.

Peace & Love