Subway on Red Bull, A Note to Tucson Drivers and Gym Reflections

Sorry for the delay in writing and sorry in advance that this may be the last one until Sunday night (if then). As you know, because it is Thursday, the kiddo will be coming over tonight and staying through Saturday night. Sunday we are helping my bestest girl move out of her apartment that she shared with her now X boyfriend into her own space! I am really excited to see it. It sounds really cute.

Well, let's back this ol' blog up and talk about yesterday. I went to the gym (as per the norm) with polka dot gym bag in tow. The plan was to run errands after the gym including VDay gifts and grocery. Since I am now very aware of how it feels to NOT have a shower while running errands after sweating like a man, my gym bag held the necessities for a quick shower and change of clothes...oops, wait, did I forget something?

You know that feeling, right? When you are halfway to your destination - too far to turn around - and you have that nagging sensation that you are forgetting something? Well, my nag started before I left the house - I felt...I don't know...undone. Like I was missing something. But I carried on and headed out.

About the time I was getting off at the exit that would eventually lead to the gym, I realized what it was I was missing...a bra. Sorry, boys, if this is uncomfortable but guess what, this is what us ladies wear and there's nothing dirty about it. Well, unless you have to wear your SPORTS BRA after sweating profusely and drowning every inch of the material!

So, yes, I took a shower after 30 min of hard cardio and weight lifting. As usual, I went into the little stall to change into my towel wrap and headed into the shower. As usual, there were random hair patches clinging to the wall and soap holder. Puke! Nothing grosses me out more - well, other than the time I forgot my shower flops (flip flops for the shower) and had to walk on tile that had mysterious who-knows-what all over it. Ok, so maybe it was just water..but STILL! Yeah, the hair clumps in the shower...I swear I could see where a message was written on the stall wall in Sharpie stating "Sasquatch was here."





Anyway, after dodging the hair balls, I finished my shower and worked my way back to the changing stalls (sounds like I go to a barn everyday to work out). There are two - a larger one and a smaller one. I am usually lucky enough to grab the larger one. The smaller one is broken. The latch to lock it works but the door and the frame don't fit. Not sure how the hell that happened but it did. Well, guess which one I was stuck with - you guessed it, didn't you. The small one with no locking/closing capabilities. Granted it is tucked away in a corner with the other stall but I am one modest freak. I knew that, if the person in the larger stall came out, they would see me in all my glory (or lack thereof). And, if the door is cracked like it will be because it doesn't shut, what if someone thinks that stall is vacant and decides to throw open the door to come inside. It was quite stressful!

I did my best using one hand to hold the door shut by the small coat hook on the inside while I used the other hand to apply deoderant, towel dry my hair and get dressed. The only time I had to completely let go was to put on my soaked and wet sports bra that I so disgustingly sprayed lightly with perfume. I know, I know. But it was the only thing I could think of to help me feel better about putting on a sweat soaked sports bra under a thick turtle neck cable sweater.

Once I left the gym I was famished. Not sure if I got a better work out from my cardio and weights or if I was just exhausted from my Cirque de Soleil act holding the door shut in the small stall. Whatever the case, I headed straight for Subway which is about a mile, if that, from the gym.

Now, Subway is my lunch of choice after working out if I am by myself. I usually get the 6" veggie delight with lite mayo, sunchips and an iced tea. Very low in cals and fat. Which Subway I go to highly depends on the errands I need to run and where those errands are located. Since I was heading down Grant, I figured I would hit the one right there on my way to the other two or three stops I had that direction.

As I walked into the door, I noticed something very different about this Subway. Part of their job requirement at all Subways is to welcome you when you walk in the door. These folks practically threw their sliced onions like confetti to do a Forrest Gump style wave and welcome me to Subway. Ummm, thanks. Then, the lady came over to take my sandwich order and was more than pleasant and cheerful. She asked what I would be having and, utilizing my lame comedic mind, I responded, "whatever you've had." Ok, after the many attempts of humor at the docs office only to crash and burn, I figured that this, too, would be lost - floating over heads and into the bread warmer. Nope! I just hit it big in my comedic profession (or hobby, as it seems). Her and the two other boys that were working the make stand busted out in jolly laughs that directed all guests' eyes to me. Not quite the laugh I was expecting. Just a courtesy would have been ok in this situation. Subway restaurants are not that big.

So after cheerfully making my sandwich and ha ha'ing while taking my money, I ate my sandwich quietly in the corner ignoring all the eyes on me as if I were some dead beat comedian trying for a comeback. So this is what it feels like on the D List, huh Kathy Griffin?

As I was leaving I received a beautiful, loud and energetic "thank you for choosing Subway, have a nice day." How nice. Those folks definitely enjoyed their jobs. Sure they joked and conversed with every guest that came in after me and, I'm sure, before me but they made each of us feel...special. Made me wonder if there is a happy medium between the zit faced boy who wants to throw a cup of hot coffee in your face because he hates his McD's life so bad and the hyped on Red Bull college students that want to serve you your sandwich on a silver platter because you're the BEST! Really! They mean it! Is there a happy medium between the two?

Grocery shopping was uneventful other than another Dawna-ism. I went into Walmart planning only to purchase my non-perishables and then head to Fry's to get my produce (Walmart tends to have nasty produce). Back track a bit - on my way to Walmart, I needed to pee so stupendously bad that I thought I wouldn't make it. It was quite a drive with a couple of stops in between that didn't have public restrooms. So I finally make it to Walmart. As I walk in, Mr. Retired rolls me a cart with a welcoming smile. I had no time for carts. I had to get to the restroom before Mr. Retired had to mop up a spill. I told him I would come back for a cart. I think he said something as I hurried past him (probably "thanks for shopping Walmart" or something). I was on a mission to get straight to the potty room with little to no incident.

Now, most of you reading my blog know me well (so sorry you have to know me this well) so you know that it can't just end there. And it certainly cannot be that easy! As I approached the bathroom, I noticed that the men's was wide open but the women's had a cleaning buggy with a sign saying the bathroom was closed for cleaning!! Are you really kidding me right now? I thought, well, maybe I could stick my head in to ask the lady if I could just sneak a quick pee if I promise not to make a mess of the nasty Walmart bathroom!! But, when I peaked in, I saw two old unkempt men, one with a chewed up straw hanging out of his mouth, sitting on the sinks talking to one another. I felt like a cartoon character where my eyes went bulging out of my head and my jaw dropped just short of the WMart bathroom floor. I wasn't sure what to do and I felt like I was stumbling over my own thoughts as my eyes were watering from having to GO!

The sign on their buggy said something about a family restroom in the back. I looked toward the back of the store and saw that ray of light which was the restroom sign. But it felt like it kept zooming away from my glance and I knew that the walk would be painstakingly long - I mean, really painstaking!

Then my brain kicked in. If I am going to walk all the way back there, I might as well get a cart to take with me and I would start my shopping from the back of the store forward. I left my bio friendly bags in the car because I am only inclined to use my bio friendly bags for produce, dairy, meats and frozen since they are designed to keep foods cold. And, since I wasn't planning on buying perishables at W Mart, I left them in the car. So, I headed back to the sliding doors that housed Mr. Retirement. He rolled a cart my way and said "welcome to Walmart." Umm, thanks Mr. Magoo. I've already been here...oh well. No biggie. Thanks for the cart. I almost rode my cart all the way to the back of the store - knocking women and small children out of my way in every aisle. I couldn't get there fast enough. Finally, the family restroom...with a door that doesn't lock! Seriously!?!

As much as I cared at the gym about other women seeing me peel on a sweaty sports bra in the locker room, I didn't care if Mr. Retirement himself saw me coppin' a squat. I had to GOOOO!!!

Finally, I felt much better and was ready to finish my errands. I wasn't much in a grocery shopping mood and wanted to get it all done ASAP. It was a big trip to replenish our daily staples. As I made my way up to the produce section, I noticed that it didn't look too bad and they had my favorite dark red grapes. Hmm, maybe I will save myself yet another stop and just get everything there. Oh crap, the bags. So, yes...be it that I am Dawna and must make things difficult...or just humorous...I dropped my cart in front of the fresh flower bin. I headed out the sliding doors and passed, yet again, Mr. Magoo the Retired Man. He thanked me for shopping Walmart. I was about to say I would be back but decided not to bother. He would welcome me again when I returned. Which he did and rolled me another cart. Whatev.

Shopping went well until I started feeling sweaty. I am not a good shopper - especially now that I am living off of T's income. As my cart fills up, my sweat glands respond and I start feeling weak and shakey. Afraid of the total at the end of the trip. But it ended up not being as bad as I had anticipated and we are well stocked with staples (not those kind).

The only thing that frustrated me - well, not the only thing - was that I asked the little college drop out boy at the register to hand me the cold items so that I could put them in their special bags. He said ok...but then didn't!! He kept handing me my cold items that were smashed into plastic bags for me to place in their special bags. Ok, I will deal with that. As long as my frozen and dairy items are all in there. Well, when I got home I noticed that "drop out" must have lost his sense of touch somewhere along the way. There were random tubs of yogurt mixed in with the cat snack cans and a tub of hummus mixed in with canned goods! Uggh! If I get sick, I am going to kick that boy's butt back to grade school!

Here's the other thing. Dear Tucson Drivers...I know it must be hard to live in the heat like we do. The sun always shining in your eyes and the cactus always pricking your rears. But, really, the driving is dismal. I can deal with the laying on your horn right as the light turns green and I get entertained watching the occasional road rage chase down Ina. But, when it comes to parking lots, something has to give!! I have never seen anything like it. Someone begins pulling out of their spot and almost gets side swiped from a car going 20 mph in an attempt to make them wait! Folks, let me fill you in on the facts. Granted we should look behind us and in all areas that we can see from our driver windows and mirrors before pulling out. I get that and agree. The fact of the matter is, someone in a sports car, sedan or economy car that is parked between the cowboy pick up trucks or the road rage four wheelers CANNOT see your speeding a^% barreling through the parking lot. Do as us good Southern folks do and LET THEM OUT! It doesn't take very long and maybe, just maybe, you will earn some good karma for it.

The rest of the day went pretty well. It was good to be home but I remained on my feet to cook dinner (which was a new "made up" recipe that was of Asian variety - thanks Dad and Twila for the yummy roasted garlic and peanut sauce. A HIT). After dinner, we settled on the couch for a mini Ghosthunter marathon before heading to bed.

So, my gym reflections...I am noticing that I sweat more than anyone else in that place in the mornings. It makes me feel like I have some sort of condition. I run HARD for 2 miles (about to bump it to 3 next week) and end up sweating from every orifice of my body including my elbows!! I look around and I feel like that I walked into an assisted living community with made up women wearing their best Sunday polo and walking pant! Sorry, I am not trying to be mean but I feel kinda manly walking through with my sweaty tanks (which I buy in the men's department at W Mart) and my muscle arms (if I do say so myself..haha). As I am running on the treadmill so hard I spit sweat, the little yoga class is taking place with people on one leg pointing their delicate hands to the gods above. I am not trying to say that they aren't working out hard. Maybe hard for them. And, for the love of bread, I am thrilled to see the seniors of our society take control of their health! I admire that! My Grandparents are gym-aholics and I couldn't be prouder. But I just feel very...sweaty around them.

The other thing, and I mentioned it before, is the locker room situation. In the midst of my commuting to and from my gorilla shower, I saw BY ACCIDENT ONLY (trust me) a handful of women that are way too comfortable with their bodies. Good for them...bad for me! One was an old "grandma" lady that just walked slowly around completely naked...BLAH!! Please put a long shirt on or something!!! You think you now have a visual you'd like to forget...you have NO idea!!

Regardless, I do enjoy working out in the mornings with my tunes. I do get to work out with Amber on Mondays which is a great catch up session. Otherwise, it is me and my playlist rocking out some GREAT workouts! I have actually lost 5 more lbs!! I think it is my new cardio routine that I do every day plus all of the leafy green salads I have been loving lately.

My workout routine:
Everyday - 2 miles of jogging mixed with sprinting
Mon - leg weight training
Tue - biceps/triceps
Wed - back/chest
Thur - shoulders
Everyday - abs for 20 min
Everyday - bike for 15 min on hills at level 5

I will be getting back to Lorraine's kickboxing class Saturday! I am really looking forward to it but it will be a bummer that Amber won't be there. She has to work on Saturday's. So that will make it a 5 day a week gym routine. Weekdays I am there for about 1.5 hours.

Enough about me and the like. I am going to hop off of here and get some dusting and vacuuming done before the kiddo gets here. I am making the ol' standby chicken tenders, mac and cheese, etc for tonight's dinner. Tomorrow night I am making my own mini sliders with cheese! Tay is going to help me. She and I are going to get out of Daddy's hair tomorrow and go shopping for his VDay and BDay gifts from her. Saturday I am hitting the gym and then we are going to T's step brother's wedding at T's Dad's house. Happy VDay to us! Haha! Our first one as Spencers and we have to go to a wedding. We are taking Tay home after that. Sunday we are helping Amber move out of her apartment into her own space! I know that will make her feel sooooo much better and I am glad. It is important to me to see her smile! We are sisters from another time, we're sure!

So, hopefully this long a$# blog will hold everyone for a couple of days. I will try to hop on when I can but it will certainly be a busy weekend. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! XOXOXO!

Some random pics...new post below that...

The heart shaped cakes we took to Nona's several weeks ago



The two bakers



Giving Jack a bath the Saturday before Super Bowl



Super Bowl Sunday!!



My prodigy and I!



Her birthday bike



Coming off the slide at Pump It Up



Hurry Tay! The P's are after you!!



Ahh, still in one piece!



Tay in the birthday throne



Let the sugar rush begin!



Hold on to your helmets everyone!

Appreciation

I appreciate that Tay's Mom's side of the family hates me but loves Tay
Yes, that's right. The birthday extravaganza went off without too much of a drama. Honestly, I was dreading this day on many levels. Before I decided to have a Super Bowl party and coming off of the m/c incident, I was stressing about seeing Lauren, seeing babies/kids and, to top it off, seeing the very beings who would like to see my being "been". But, with the help of a dose of pregnancy reality on Super Bowl and various texts with Lauren, I was pretty comfortable with that aspect of things. I feel we are getting back on target. But the P Family (I don't want to put their full last name) was a different story.

I was pretty surprised at how calm and stress-free I was before we headed to Pump It Up. And this is without adult libations. T, on the other hand, was biting a circle of holes in his lips as early as two hours before scheduled departure. Of course, he is fully aware of the psychosis of the P's and has had personal experience with them in the past. I really have not. I have had the threatening emails and the late night texts from Michelle and her Dad early on in our relationship but nothing that has been actually DONE - especially in public.

We headed out right on time and found our way to the birthday gathering. When we first approached the building, we didn't see any ally cars parked in the lot so T decided to pass on by - drive by number 1 - until we had some backup. This was like a swat team maneuver! I texted Lauren and their Dad to see how close they were. They weren't. But then we got a call from T's Mom that she was sitting and waiting for someone to arrive...in the parking lot next to PIU. Everyone was waiting for backup!

Once we all got there, we had to stand in the same small room to wait for the doors to open. Somewhat awkward but no biggie. Hey, when no one is looking at you or acknowledging your presence, how hard could it really be?? The nice thing was that Tay felt "normal" with all of us there. Overwhelmed, yes. But normal. She ran up and gave T and I a big hug in front of the P's. That made me feel more at ease that there wouldn't be any wierdness for Tay.

The crazy thing was - we were in a place where adults and kids alike can jump around in these inflatable castles and such. I wore shoes without socks so I wasn't going to be able to play. But, turns out that Mrs. P had extra pairs of socks and let me borrow them. Trust me, the socks were as cold as ice coming from her but the fact that she (and the rest of them) could be civil in the same space (not to mention the same planet) is quite a leap!! Oh, and the fact that none of us were injured "accidentally" in the castles is something to mention as well!

At the end of the party - only 1.5 hours after we started...although felt much longer than that - we all headed out at the same time. There were some awkward goodbyes and thank you's (from me) that went unnoticed (or unwanted) but I was one step closer to T's car which was one step closer to our little world in Rancho Marana. I definitely felt like a fish out of water when Tay was having me pick her up and then her Mom asking her to come to her so that she could carry Tay to the car. But I totally understood and kept my distance as I always have and always will.

Tay had me lay with her as she was trying to fall asleep that night. I had mentioned the weekend before that maybe she and I could have a sleep over when Daddy goes to Europe. I proposed that we could invite Nona, Aunt Lauren, Amber, Amy, Liz (with Astraya - another little girl) and we could all stay up, paint our nails and watch movies until we all passed out in our sleeping bags. Well, she mentioned this idea to Memaw (Mrs. P) and it flew over like a lead blimp! Tay was pretty bummed but I suggested that she not get too upset about it until Daddy talked to Mommy about it. I don't know what will come of it...

Bottom line, it was a good first time for all families to be in the same small space together celebrating Tay. Although I know they would rather I play in traffic with a blindfold, I feel that it was a wonderful first step to all of us being involved in Tay's life.

I appreciate bike riding with a 5 year old
I always heard others tell me this but I never understood what they meant - when you have kids, you see things through their eyes which gives you a whole new appreciation of the world. Or of life. Or a renewed appreciation. Or is it an abbreviation of appreciation or annihilation of appreciation...ok, I regress.

We bought Tay a princess bike for her birthday that included training wheels and a princess helmet. She was very excited and rode it around in the kitchen and dining room for the first night she arrived.

Friday we decided to take a bike tour of the ol' Rancho Marana. Now, as you have all become familiar with, I am not a Tour de France rider...more like a Teeter de Top rider. And I hadn't ridden for a while so I was wondering if Tay was going to get a first hand glance at someone eating pavement after a "10" rated flip off the front of the handle bars.

Well, off we went. T in front, Tay behind him and then me, with the riders death grip, behind her. Danger, danger! When riding behind a 4' person on a tiny princess bike with training wheels, everything goes much slower than when you are riding with T alone. And, I don't know why, but riding slow makes the balance challenging and the grip tighter. As I was enjoying watching Tay smile and try to get both training wheels off the ground, my mind was reeling thinking of the potential collision that could take place between a 100 and something pound adult with limited bike handling abilities and a poor, unsuspecting 4' 5 year old with a princess helmet.

A couple of times she would slam on her breaks in order to let T go further ahead so that she could ride fast to him. Of course, my ability to read her mind was a bit off that day (ummm, as with most days) and the potential of a collision rose tremendously. I really didn't want the responsibility of riding behind her. It was stressing me out almost as much as the poles and cars I was trying to avoid.

Saturday when we rode, it was much better. I was prepared for the immediate stops and I felt a bit more comfortable in my seat as a driver. Because I was a bit more calm and relaxed (only a bit), I was able to really take in the bike riding experience with Tay. Watching her watch her wheels and move her body to try balancing on the two wheels reminded me of when I was riding my first bike. I think I remember trying it without training wheels when we still lived in our trailer which is about the same age as Tay is now. Dad or Mom could confirm this for me. But, a memory that has been tucked back in the folds for such a long time, came to the surface and it was funny thinking about how cyclical life is. I enjoyed watching Tay remembering my Dad holding onto my bike when I first got my wheels off to help me balance. As I was remembering this, I looked over and saw another little Rancho Marana kid with her Dad trying out her bike without training wheels. There were a lot of kids on their bikes that day and Tay made sure to point out who had their training wheels and who did not.

I appreciate that I still have a couple of active brain cells that can call up memories of my awesome childhood. It made me smile and took a cloudy film off of the day for me. Sometimes I get into such a rut that I don't take time to look at the sky, to go for a bike ride, to feel the wind in my face, to watch a little girl with her first bike smile and look back at me to tell me she "did it." I appreciate the opportunity to be a part of her life and her life experiences.

I appreciate a good movie night and a great DUMB cat!
Even though Tay picked out the same movie as she did last time...Open Season 2. It is a pretty cute movie though and I am completely in love with one of its supporting characters (who I think MADE the movie) - Roger the Dumb Cat.





OMG he cracks me up and T can do a great impersonation! He makes me laugh everytime. If you want to see a clip...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX3XFmFr3HE

I appreciate that!!


I appreciate a good date night
Saturday Michelle and her fiance Casey picked Tay up from our house. Now, before you pass out on your keyboard, part of the reason (if not most) is because she was coming back from Phoenix and we were on the way. But, whatever the case may be, it was a nice change and one that T fully enjoyed. That cut out 3 hours of driving for him.

It was hard for me because it switched up my usual routine a bit. I usually hit the cleaning hard when he leaves so that the house can be picked up and nice when he gets home. I also usually get dinner started, light candles and turn some music on. Well, with the change in plans, T and Tay helped me clean. When Tay left, T and I had an adult bev, lit some candles and made some dinner. It was nice that he didn't have to drive but I still like to do those things for him. I am sure I will have many more times to do it in the future. Michelle won't always be in Phoenix.

We had a great date night. Ended up having beverages and watching the BlueRay version of Twister. Pretty cool. Some of the graphics were a bit lacking but it was still an oldie but goodie that we enjoyed.

I appreciate the beauty of Tucson
It's been a while since I have talked about the beauty of Tucson. You know, when I first moved out here, I remember saying to my parents, I can't imagine how anyone could take the beautiful sky and mountains for granted here. How could you not be mesmerized everyday by their beauty. I remember swearing to myself that I would always take the time to appreciate the beauty of my surroundings.

Well, as it does with everyone else, time has gone on and life has put a blindfold on my eyes...or maybe just shades. Where I used to sit out back and enjoy the sunsets, I have instead plastered my eyes to a computer screen. Where I used to gasp from looking at the awesome mountains, I have cried over spilled milk. Where I used to spot rainbows in full spectrum, I have resorted to spotting problems.

Well, Sunday was a day of awakening. As I was heading up the road to my usual Sunday Circle K stop for a newspaper and fountain ice tea, I saw the most beautiful FULL rainbow. From my perspective, it sure looked like one end landed behind our house and the other end landed behind the Circle K - that's appropriate! But it really made me realize that I have somehow hit the fast forward button on life and haven't repaired the pause button that so desperately needs to be utilized more. I made ammends today by really admiring the Catalina mountains. They are fitted with snow to their bellies and look elegant and soft. The famous finger that usually guides me north was hidden behind low, thick clouds that softly danced on top of the mountains. I am so happy that I took that time, granted while driving to the gym, to look at the beauty that I seem to miss everyday.

I appreciate the wonders of nature and our planet. Aren't we lucky that conditions of our universe and our solar system has allowed such a beautiful body to withstand time so that we can enjoy its life?

I hope that you are appreciating life. If you think you need to slow down for a better look, I suggest you do. It fills your heart.

A letter I received today...

Dear D,

How are you? I'm sure you are surprised to hear from your body since I never really write much. It has to do with the brain always suppressing me. But, with the brain preoccupied with the endorphins from our workout today, I thought I would take over for a bit and drop you a line.

So, wow, we have been together for a while, huh? We just celebrated our 37 year anniversary together last month. Time sure does fly. I remember when I was just a pup and not able to control our sphincter muscle. What a mess! Luckily, that ol' brain of yours hadn't really developed much at that point so you were unaware of the situation. But the folks down south were very unhappy with me for a while after that!

I don't know where the time has gone but we have definitely had our ups and downs. No help, of course, from that ol' brain of yours that seems to want to bring our whole industry down because of its stress overdrive. I don't know what department created that monster but I would have been more involved from the beginning if I knew it would turn out like that!

Anyway, the reason I am writing is to fill you in on the going on's around here. I feel like, sometimes, the brain demands all of your attention and you don't hear what I am telling you. Trust me, it is so frustrating sometimes. But it isn't your fault. The brain is just a loud mouth and very self centered sometimes. Anyway, I regress.

As I mentioned, we have had some ups and downs over the many years we have been together. And the last several months have been evident of that. First, let me say, I am so sorry that we couldn't keep that embryo. I know, you want to call it a baby. But it was still an embryo at the time everything happened. I want you to know that we all did everything we could down here. We had our finest cells researching the situation and had multiple meetings that went well into the night. But, we are always looking out for the best interest of the entire industry and, it turns out, the route we took was for the better. I know you blamed us, questioned us and even beat us up a little (words do hurt...we have ears). But, I assure you, we did what we felt was best for us at the time. And we stand behind our decision. I'm just glad we caught it when we did!

Now, I know the brain is still questioning us and saying negative things like: "we are too old," "our body is too old" (by the way, whatever! Doesn't the brain know they are just as old?), "why couldn't it have happened to someone else," "will we ever be able to do it again," "what if we lose it again." And on and on until it builds up so much stress it makes us all feel bad. I really do think that brain is a troublemaker but nothing we can do about it now.

Well, D, I want you to know. I am making things happen down here. We all worked long hours and endure a lot of sweat and tears to get us to where we are now. We all tried our very best to get everything back into working order post-release. I think I did hear how pleased you were that your cycle was back on track - right at 28 days! How's that for an "old" body?? It wasn't easy but we knew how bad you needed us to perform and we were hoping that it would put that ol' brain of yours in its place.

You definitely need to share this note with brain. The thing is, our egg farm was shut down for quite a while. I'm not sure if you or brain remember but we had laid off all the eggs for many years. They were enjoying early retirement before you decided to bring them back to work. Now, don't get me wrong, they are glad to be back. Some decided to stay in retirement but the ones that are back on the farm are excited to be doing something again. There isn't much to do in their department except lay around - and retirement just kills them. The reason I am telling you this is, you really need to give these girls a break. They are a little older and haven't been on the job in a while. We are all pitching in to help train them again - we've even upgraded the old paper maps through the fallopian tubes to GPS systems. But then it is training those older girls how to use new technology! But they are eager and motivated! They are ready to get in the game. But you may just need to give them time to warm up, that's all. But they are here for you and ready to make you proud. I can't predict when things will be back to speed but, when they are, I feel confident that our cell division and chromosome department will be there waiting and things will go smooth. They've all looked at their notes from the last incident and know where each of them need to improve...or else!!

Also, wanted to send a big thank you up your way for all of the awesome salads you have been making! Back in our college years I thought I was going to have to process Taco Bell and Reese Cups for the rest of my life...my short life! And then, with the 24-7 beer binge of the 20's, I was getting concerned for our liver department. I wasn't so concerned about the brain cells we were losing. I was hoping that would bring that department down a knotch or two - I guess no such luck. And then, when we hit our 30's and we had so much happen around us, the weight we gained from stress, alcohol and comfort food was enough to kill us all! I tried my best to move us into pictures so that you would eventually get the hint. And you did. Thank goodness. I was on my last fat leg!

Now here we are still fighting hard at the gym! I liked what you did today on the pec machine - I heard from the chest area that there was some great muscle tension. The muscles tend to fill me in on their progress report after each work out so that we know where the soreness will be tomorrow. But, I must say, I received a disturbing email from your shin department. They are fighting to run under the strain. They say that the Aleve you are popping before each work out helps the nerves but that they are still suffering underneath. We all advise - get new GOOD shoes to run in...please!

Finally, I don't know if you have been privy to the constant battle between our brain and myself. It has always been there ever since it was fully developed in our early years. The brain thinks that they are on top and control everything - that they could make us or break us. The truth is, we could shut that cerebral butt down and, although there could be some drool at times, we would still be pumping blood through ourselves. But, anyway, that's between me and them. I just hope that this letter will bring you comfort in knowing that we are all working hard for you and we appreciate how hard you have been working for us. So, the next time the brain tries to talk smack about us, I hope you will take it with a grain of salt.

Anyway, keep taking care of us and we will do the same. And, don't worry about the occassional cocktail or beer, the tongue and stomach really enjoy those date nights together and we still like watching the brain get a bit mellower (we tend to like them better that way but the liver department keeps us on track). Just remember, we're in this together.

All the best, much love and less brain,
The body

OH

And are you a follower yet? I know all of you wait with baited breath for each of my postings. It isn't hard to become a follower. And it would make me have a strange feeling of celebrity-ism. Don't I deserve that? Anyway, jump on my bandwagon and go for a ride. With the ex-wife, baby-makin-tryin and the other fun drama and adventure in my life, you know you don't want to miss a thing. =^]

What is it about...

I spent a lot of time today wondering...what is it about...

What is it about women who stand absolutely naked in the locker room at the gym? I mean, sure, we are all women. I get that. But there is no reason to be standing butt naked in the middle of the locker room when there are dressing areas that can be used. Where I am going to the dressing area (behind a latched door) to undress and wrap a towel around me in order to walk to the hairy showers, others find it totally acceptable to stand in the middle of the walkway with no clothes on. You accidentally look because you are merely glancing at your surroundings and you get an eyeful of someone who shouldn't feel so comfortable in her own skin. You know? And, to make it worse, I still have to use the hairy showers. What's with that?

What is it about, when you have something happen in your life that is traumatic, you notice everything around you that reminds you of that moment. Say, for instance, you recently get divorced and then you go to a bar to relieve your pain. You get there and everyone is coupled up all cozy and the only music on the jukebox is sappy love songs - usually country - that just makes you want to drink more...at home. Well, today I go to lunch at Sweet Tomatoes (which has the most yummy salad bar). I kid you not...there had to be at least 20 or more women there that were pregnant. Obviously pregnant. And one was a salt in the wound by being pregnant and carrying a sippy cup for her little kid. Seriously?? What's with that?

What is it about people who will see that their lane is going to end and decides to try and get ahead of everyone else. Then, when you don't let them over (they should wait their turn), they give you evil glances and sign language? What's with that?

What is it about cops who will tailgate you even though you are doing nothing wrong. Intimidation? Power trip? If I do the same thing, I get pulled over and written a ticket for following too close. What makes it ok for them? The black and white colors on their car? The badge? Probably the gun. What's with that?

What is it about pinching your index finger in the cabinet one minute and then slamming the same finger in the same spot with a heavy cast iron skillet the next. Am I really that careless? Is my luck that bad? Are my fingers that clumsy? Am I? What's with that?

What is it about driving past the building I used to work in and still feeling nauseous like I did when I had to walk in that place - I even remember the smell. The fluttering in my stomach - not the good kind - that I experienced everyday. It is amazing how the brain can overpower the body so completely. How your brain can take you back to a moment and make your body feel everything - bad or good - all over again. I was so relieved to drive through the traffic light where I used to turn. I immediately texted T to thank him again for the opportunity to get me out of there. No one should feel that sick about a place. It also made me sad. I was so excited to start that adventure and then so let down when I was pinned with their inadequacies. I need to write a letter to them explaining to them why I left so that they don't think it was because of my lack of success - it was because of theirs. I may just write it on here someday because it would just float up against a brick wall and wouldn't make a difference anyway. But it would make me feel better. What's with that?

That's all I have for my "what is it about..." portion of my blog. Now on to my day. As you can see, I went to the gym, drove around a lot and attempted to get a bday gift for Tay. Turns out, T may want to get her a bike for over here. So I decided that he should come with me when buying her gift so that he definitely gets her what he wants.

When I got home, I decided to focus on my garden planning. I measured the side yard and determined that my raised garden bed will be 4' wide x 20' long and will run down the center of the side yard (the yard that runs down the kitchen side of the house). The center will be used for hot peppers, sweet peppers, onions (green and sweet), garlic, shallots, etc. The corner of the side yard next to the air units will be where my tomato plants will live. It will be a raised bed 3' wide x 10' long. We are planning on fencing or "hiding" the air units for visual appeal. Leaving the small rocks for the walkways on either side of the bed. At the entrance of the garden, I will have two pots - one on either side of the walkway - that will have herbs. I am pretty excited...now if things will actually grow. Most of you know the color of my thumb...its not pretty!

Tonight has pretty much been uneventful, which is kinda nice. T is fighting that stupid cold virus thing again that he had when we were in Louisville. Hopefully he will feel better soon. He is meeting with Michelle and Tay tomorrow morning to look at a school that T likes. We are hoping that he will have some influence as to where she goes so that she isn't going to a christian brainwashing camp.

I guess that's it for tonight. Just more boob tube and then the ol' hay. For my Louisville eskimos, I had the top down on my car today...sure is pretty....and there ARE houses for sale right across the street from me. Just sayin'.

STATUS: Dawna is ready to hide her brown thumb in a garden glove and get to work!
MOOD: Garden-ious

Catch up...or is it ketchup?

Well, well, well, haven't I been the slacker for the past few days? The way I looked at it, half of my fan base was buried under 3" of ice and snow with no electricity so I took some time off from talking about myself. Well, at least on here.

Sit back and put your feet up. This will probably be a lengthy post with no real direction and a lot of random, useless information.

Still reading? You must either a) love me a lot, b) be as bored as I am writing this post or c) looking for a good read on the john. No matter, glad you're still with me!

Let's rewind time to Thursday morning. My doctor's appointment. I guess I must have been scheduled to arrive when every pregnant person and their pregnant mothers were in the waiting room. Ahh yes, it never gets old seeing someone rubbing their precious over gorged bellies and watching their husbands fluff up pillows to put behind their baby mama's back. The chilvary, the love, the fat guts, etc. I swear I was the only one...probably in the city...that wasn't pregnant. True I felt very thin and agile but I was also getting choked up by either anger and hatred or by puke from all the pregnant love in the room. UGGGHHH!!!!

Of course this would have to be a busy day for them so I was able to sit out there for well over 30 minutes. I got to hear all the laughter from behind the "door" and the, "next week is your big week YAY" and the "I feel like I am going to pop HAHAHA", blah, blah, blah. That 30 minutes felt like 30 days. I buried my nose into a gossip mag to read about people who make trillions more than me but still have pathetic lives. That always helps me feel better about myself.

I thought I might throw a pillow filled with lead at the next overly pregnant woman that walked through the door when, finally, the nurse peeked out from behind the "door" and called my name. With the speed of a super hero, I lunged that direction and didn't look back. Finally, get me out of this hell.

The nurse that fetched me must really "love" her job or maybe she just had a miscarriage too and hated every woman she came in contact with because she was an ice block! She took me back to get my weight and I made some joking comment about taking my shoes off and what not to get my weight lower...I got nothing from her. Not even a courtesy humph. Granted, it was a weak joke attempt and it was only made because I am always nervous at doc offices and I was already uncomfortable with my month long wait with the pregnant fatties. Blah! But I got nothing.

Well, this comedian doesn't give up when she hits a wall! When the nurse directed me into my exam room du jour, I couldn't believe the size of it! And it even had a recliner! How long DO people have to wait to see the doc?? A recliner? Really? That's not very reassuring. When I walked in I was like "wow, is this the VIP suite?" Now, come on, that's kinda funny. At least enough for an almost sincere courtesy chuckle. I tell you, NOTHING! Forget ice, this woman was STONE!

We get in the room and she says, so you are here for a sonogram, right? I said, umm, I don't really know why I am here other than for a follow up from my miscarriage. Did I get a "oh, I'm sorry for your loss?" Umm, NO! She was like, well, was it natural? Are you having any cramping or bleeding, etc. No!!! Come on folks! I have told like three people in this small office about my situation and yet no one bothered to write it down anywhere? Really?? While you are writing down my miscarriage story that has been told so much I think it was a movie I watched, also write down a little note next to an astericks that reminds anyone who reads my file to toss me a "sorry for your loss" line. I don't care if you mean it but, boy, would that be a nice touch. GEEZ FOLKS! And you deal with women??? Hormonal, mood swingin', emotional, stressed out, freaked out, crazy women??? Wow.

Anyway, she says, well go ahead and get undressed from the waist down in case Doc H wants to do the sonogram. I say, ok thanks...for NOTHING!!!! She left and I did what I was told. I wrapped the sheet around me as much as possible but, in order to cover up my feet (they were blocks of ice), I had to turn the sheet long ways to down my legs and, since it is a rectangle and not a square...well, you see what I'm saying.

I waited, no lie, for about another 30 or so minutes. I heard laughter in the halls and more baby talk. I would love to know if they actually have any other patient that is NOT pregnant like me! Good grief. My feet were like frozen ice and it made me start thinking that doc offices should invest in little footies for patients...sure, disposable footies are even fine. I mean, they keep their offices like ice chests anyway so they should help out patients by having warmer waiting attire. And, boy, I started understanding what the recliner was for. If there would have been a warm blanket hanging on the back of that puppy, my naked butt may have been sitting over there instead of the hard paper covered table.

Finally, Doc H came through the door. You always know when they're coming because you can hear the file folder being picked up outside the door. Immediately, her face turned down and she came straight at me with a hug and a "I am so sorry Dawna." I don't know if it was the waiting room crap that did it, or the fact that SOMEONE in that office acted like they gave a crap that did, but I totally lost it. I cried like a baby (uggh, no pun intended) in the arms of my doc only the second time I have ever seen her.

She was awesome and is the reason I will continue to go to her. She was very sincere and sat down next to me to relieve my concerns. She never makes you feel like she doesn't have time to listen. You really feel like you have her undivided attention. It's nice. She did the sonogram and told me that my ute and ovaries look like beauties. Other than my ute's recent mishap, I was very proud of my girly parts! Yay for my good looking innards! She said that everything measures perfect and gave me the all clear to "try" again. She assures me that I am not too old. She said that most women are having babies at my age and older and she highly recommends it. She says she is glad that younger women aren't jumping on the baby train so fast because so much can change in your 20s. I agreed and felt much better about my innards, my age and my doc!

Now, I was hoping that I could get out of there without getting poked. And I did. Well, sort of. She asked me my blood type and if I am positive or negative. I went blank! I knew my folks knew but I didn't know at the time. Well, she says, let's have some blood work done to figure that out. NOOOO!!!! What???? Why???? She said I could have it done that day next door at the lab and I said...well, it isn't that easy. I can't do the blood thing by myself so I will need to schedule it for when T can come with me. So she had the requests drawn up and I took the paperwork and flew out the door quicker than most of those women will be able to move their pillows!

After the docs, I headed to the gym and then home. T picked up Tay that evening and the rest of the night was pretty uneventful.

Friday:
Friday morning Tay and I did our usual morning routine of furry baby duties, juice, breakfast and cartoons. I was going to be taking Tay to T's Mom's so that she could spend some quality time with her. It was nice because I was going to drop Tay off and head to the gym. Perfect plan.

And so I did. Tay got to ride in the sexy car to Nona's. Nona was excited when she saw us, we did the ol' switcheroo and I headed to the gym. Steph, Jim and Tay got back to our place aroudn 6 or so and we had a big ol' Mexican feast for dinner. A taco bar and some of my homemade guac that is always a hit.

Saturday:
Wow, we sure are moving now...closer to Super Bowl Sunday! Saturday we all kinda hung out around the house. Since I went to the gym Mon - Fri, I took Sat off. We had breakfast, played games, and just hung out. We found out from Ryan that their friends were coming to SB Sunday and would be bringing their 5 year old daughter. I mentioned to Todd that maybe he could check with Michelle to see if we could keep Tay till after the party. Of course this was about an hour before he was to leave to take her home. Michelle actually said she could stay - we were both amazed. Either the drugs are working or the fiance is...whatever the case may be, woohoo.

Since this was an unexpected treat, I thought it would be fun to have a movie night in our jammies. We made a big palate of blankets and pillows on the floor and Tay got to pick out a movie from our apple TV selection. The final pick was Open Season 2. We tried to use a new popcorn popper that we were given for Christmas. Well, it didn't exactly work as the directions said that it would. We got a bowl full of hot kernels and the kernels would sometimes pop when they would hit the bowl and fly out at us! It was like popcorn wars. Tay was hiding behind T and I burned my finger on a kernel. Those things were atomic!!

We ended up doing micro popcorn and settling in for the movie. It was cute, we had fun and I think Tay will want to have a traditional movie night from now on.

Sunday:

FINALLY!! Super Bowl Sunday!!! What I didn't mention on Saturday's review is that I started the Steelers brainwashing on Tay early in the day. We talked about her attire for the party (black and gold or all black with my Steeler beads), the name of the team (5 year olds tend to forget easily) and the significance of the game (to be the BEST!). I also told her that we would be a minority at the party but that it's ok to be different! Good lesson, huh??

I woke up with a skip in my step! I was so excited but, at the same time, anxious because this would be my first encounter with Lauren since my m/c. I have been keeping my distance since then because of my "anger" and "resentment" at preg people in general. I never want to hurt her so I have laid low. And I also don't want to put myself in a situation where I am face to face with what I don't have. So it has been best. But today I was going to have to find a way to push all that aside and focus on my boys!!

I straightened up the house and Tay cleaned her room (amazingly well!!). I started my SB chili the day before but I threw it on the stove for final prep around 2'ish. Everyone was to arrive at 3. My first beer was popped at around the same time. I needed something to help numb the nerves that get twinged when seeing preg people. I was hoping the hops would find their way to those nerves...sooner than later. They were the first to show.

The party went well. It was hard watching T rub Lauren's belly when she arrived...right in front of me...but another beer later and I had moved on. It was awesome to see Ryan because, since he is a boy, isn't pregnant and loves football, it helped take my mind off of baby crap. The rest of the gang filtered in and, at one point, we probably had about 15 or so people. My chili was a lot thinner than usual and that kinda upset me but the next beer took care of that nerve receptor. After a while, the energy of the game and the cold beer took care of most nerve receptors and helped me get through the rest of the night. And YAY!! What a game and what an outcome!! Just they way the football gods wanted it! But good for Arizona to even be on that field! Maybe they can keep up their winning spirit combined with good defense next year. With that kind of playing action, there will be more people in their stands than just the cleaning people.

I woke up today with a bit of a headache. I NEVER feel bad after having beers so I am either losing my touch or it was because I never really got around to eating. My nerves combined with my frosty beers got in the way of my growling stomach and all I had were a couple of bites of chili when everyone had left. Unfortunately, I did have a crying meltdown post party. I knew that would happen. I knew it going into the whole thing. But eating, crying and beers are a combination for a mega headache the next day.

Today was very uneventful other than the final post party clean up. I am doing laundry now and finally ketch-ing-up on my blog. Some of my fans are popping out of their ice caves and are finally getting power back so I don't want to disappoint with no blog news.

Exciting stuff to look forward to this week? Tay's bday party at Pump It Up (a place full of inflatables) - it will be all of T's family and all of Michelle's family. If that doesn't spark some good blogging, I don't know what will.

STATUS: Dawna is now ketchup.
MOOD: Tired but victorious! YAY STEELERS!