A letter I received today...

Dear D,

How are you? I'm sure you are surprised to hear from your body since I never really write much. It has to do with the brain always suppressing me. But, with the brain preoccupied with the endorphins from our workout today, I thought I would take over for a bit and drop you a line.

So, wow, we have been together for a while, huh? We just celebrated our 37 year anniversary together last month. Time sure does fly. I remember when I was just a pup and not able to control our sphincter muscle. What a mess! Luckily, that ol' brain of yours hadn't really developed much at that point so you were unaware of the situation. But the folks down south were very unhappy with me for a while after that!

I don't know where the time has gone but we have definitely had our ups and downs. No help, of course, from that ol' brain of yours that seems to want to bring our whole industry down because of its stress overdrive. I don't know what department created that monster but I would have been more involved from the beginning if I knew it would turn out like that!

Anyway, the reason I am writing is to fill you in on the going on's around here. I feel like, sometimes, the brain demands all of your attention and you don't hear what I am telling you. Trust me, it is so frustrating sometimes. But it isn't your fault. The brain is just a loud mouth and very self centered sometimes. Anyway, I regress.

As I mentioned, we have had some ups and downs over the many years we have been together. And the last several months have been evident of that. First, let me say, I am so sorry that we couldn't keep that embryo. I know, you want to call it a baby. But it was still an embryo at the time everything happened. I want you to know that we all did everything we could down here. We had our finest cells researching the situation and had multiple meetings that went well into the night. But, we are always looking out for the best interest of the entire industry and, it turns out, the route we took was for the better. I know you blamed us, questioned us and even beat us up a little (words do hurt...we have ears). But, I assure you, we did what we felt was best for us at the time. And we stand behind our decision. I'm just glad we caught it when we did!

Now, I know the brain is still questioning us and saying negative things like: "we are too old," "our body is too old" (by the way, whatever! Doesn't the brain know they are just as old?), "why couldn't it have happened to someone else," "will we ever be able to do it again," "what if we lose it again." And on and on until it builds up so much stress it makes us all feel bad. I really do think that brain is a troublemaker but nothing we can do about it now.

Well, D, I want you to know. I am making things happen down here. We all worked long hours and endure a lot of sweat and tears to get us to where we are now. We all tried our very best to get everything back into working order post-release. I think I did hear how pleased you were that your cycle was back on track - right at 28 days! How's that for an "old" body?? It wasn't easy but we knew how bad you needed us to perform and we were hoping that it would put that ol' brain of yours in its place.

You definitely need to share this note with brain. The thing is, our egg farm was shut down for quite a while. I'm not sure if you or brain remember but we had laid off all the eggs for many years. They were enjoying early retirement before you decided to bring them back to work. Now, don't get me wrong, they are glad to be back. Some decided to stay in retirement but the ones that are back on the farm are excited to be doing something again. There isn't much to do in their department except lay around - and retirement just kills them. The reason I am telling you this is, you really need to give these girls a break. They are a little older and haven't been on the job in a while. We are all pitching in to help train them again - we've even upgraded the old paper maps through the fallopian tubes to GPS systems. But then it is training those older girls how to use new technology! But they are eager and motivated! They are ready to get in the game. But you may just need to give them time to warm up, that's all. But they are here for you and ready to make you proud. I can't predict when things will be back to speed but, when they are, I feel confident that our cell division and chromosome department will be there waiting and things will go smooth. They've all looked at their notes from the last incident and know where each of them need to improve...or else!!

Also, wanted to send a big thank you up your way for all of the awesome salads you have been making! Back in our college years I thought I was going to have to process Taco Bell and Reese Cups for the rest of my life...my short life! And then, with the 24-7 beer binge of the 20's, I was getting concerned for our liver department. I wasn't so concerned about the brain cells we were losing. I was hoping that would bring that department down a knotch or two - I guess no such luck. And then, when we hit our 30's and we had so much happen around us, the weight we gained from stress, alcohol and comfort food was enough to kill us all! I tried my best to move us into pictures so that you would eventually get the hint. And you did. Thank goodness. I was on my last fat leg!

Now here we are still fighting hard at the gym! I liked what you did today on the pec machine - I heard from the chest area that there was some great muscle tension. The muscles tend to fill me in on their progress report after each work out so that we know where the soreness will be tomorrow. But, I must say, I received a disturbing email from your shin department. They are fighting to run under the strain. They say that the Aleve you are popping before each work out helps the nerves but that they are still suffering underneath. We all advise - get new GOOD shoes to run in...please!

Finally, I don't know if you have been privy to the constant battle between our brain and myself. It has always been there ever since it was fully developed in our early years. The brain thinks that they are on top and control everything - that they could make us or break us. The truth is, we could shut that cerebral butt down and, although there could be some drool at times, we would still be pumping blood through ourselves. But, anyway, that's between me and them. I just hope that this letter will bring you comfort in knowing that we are all working hard for you and we appreciate how hard you have been working for us. So, the next time the brain tries to talk smack about us, I hope you will take it with a grain of salt.

Anyway, keep taking care of us and we will do the same. And, don't worry about the occassional cocktail or beer, the tongue and stomach really enjoy those date nights together and we still like watching the brain get a bit mellower (we tend to like them better that way but the liver department keeps us on track). Just remember, we're in this together.

All the best, much love and less brain,
The body