Living Life...

STATUS: Finding my inner child
MOOD: Fatigued and fascinated

Ahhh, what a day. Spend it with a 4 year old and you can see how we create electricity for the entire Earth population. My gosh that girl has some intense energy. It really never falters and, when it does, it happens spontaneously and instantly.

Today Todd had to get some work done so it was Tatum and I together trying to make the day go by. We started by her helping me make pancakes (the best batch so far, I might add, after I found the extended directions on the Bisquick box). She had hers with butter and sprinkles that she picked out. And we made some for Daddy who was already hard at work by the time the cakes were done.

Then we watched a little cartoon action - well, she did - I did a load of laundry, did my usual cleaning of the kitchen, made our bed and her bed and did some other quick things around the house while her eyes were mesmerized by the animations on the boob tube.

I promised her I would play doctor kit with her - thanks Mom (haha, no really, one of her favorite gifts but one that I wish would have melted on the way to Tucson...I am always the patient getting my limbs cut off and getting Hello Kitty bandaids stuck to me). But not before I showered and she bathed. I wanted us to be good and ready for our big field trip to go roller skating. So that's what we did and YES, I played doctor kit.

After Todd had some challenging moments at work as well as with the shelves we bought for the office, we all packed up and headed to the skating rink....which is WELLLLL across town!!! I mean, an hour away. We were already running late but I really needed an iced tea from Circle K (we were out of ice thanks to our defunct ice maker and I was dying for some caffeine...I mean DYING). And, anytime we hit the Circle K with Tay in the car, I always get her a Yoohoo! I am the first to introduce her to my childhood drink...and I am proud of it. I have learned that the Yoohoo bottle is not kid friendly in the car. I used to have to BUY empty plastic cups with lids until I wised up...I now bring a sippy cup with me. SCORE!

We got to the skating rink and you would have thought that I turned 10 again overnight (I know I don't act far from it). I instantly had a flashback to skating parties for school and for birthdays. I instantly remembered my white rollerskates. It was like it was yesterday...until I put the skates on...whoa!! I used to be able to do this?

Actually, it wasn't so bad. I could still skate quite well backwards (I was always better backwards than forwards - go figure) and I could still wrap one leg over the other when making a turn! Wow! Now all I need is that awkward grade school kiss and I would be back there again! Well, Todd and I did give each other a peck which was kinda awkward since we were on the practice rink with a bunch of kids. Not to mention I was showing off with my backward skate MOVES!!!

Tatum did really well and, if I weren't the loser who left the camera at home, I would share the coolness with you. We were teaching her to lean forward, bend your knees, step-step-glide. She did really well after a couple of tough blows to the bottom!! We went around the "big people" rink many, many times and we all had a blast. Tay's legs and feet were sometimes reminiscent of a new born fawn trying to stand...and we were on the sides trying to avoid being tripped, but there were even more times were we really went fast around the corners and showed all the other little kids UP!!

It all reminded me of one of my birthdays at a skating rink - I don't know which one (no, not my 37th) - when I was skating with my Dad and Papa around the rink. Papa (and if you know him you would completely understand) was full of energy and was skating like a speed skater in the Olympics. Dad was next to him and I was on the outside being whipped around like a stuffed animal!! It was so much fun!!...until we were kicked off the floor for a bit. Haha! Such fond memories.

We skated for about an hour and a half which was just about right. This 37 year old felt the muscle spasms in her back from backwards skating while Tay was skating forwards holding onto me. Just keeping her up while keeping my balance really worked those back muscles...and butt...and legs...and arms...well, everything. By the time we left, Todd and I were sweating like we had worked out at the gym for hours and Tay was talking up a storm wanting to play games in the car and talk to us about everything under the sun...she is really smart by the way! It is so interesting talking to her.

We had to stop on the way home to pick up the fixin's for pizza and chocolate chip cookies (no one said this was going to be a healthy weekend). By the time we sat in traffic for an hour on the freeway and made our stop at Fry's, Tay was - what I call - official "out". This is when the head is tilted in some contortionist form with mouth wide open and hair strewn all over the face...sometimes with heavy breathing...sometimes not. But she was definitely "officially" out!

I headed into the store and got the essentials for pizza including some yummy Dos Equis Amber for the grown ups who will be hurting tomorrow from their skating awesome-ness today.

When we got home, I started on the pizza. And the drama began. I asked Tay what she wanted on her pizza and she said "nothing". I said "sauce and cheese?" She said "nothing". So I said, "you just want crust?" And she wouldn't answer...so crust it was...raw. I didn't know how to read her mind (I know those of you with kids are nodding your heads and giggling under your breath...NOT NICE). So she took her crust, sat it on the floor in front of the TV, then came in to talk to me. Any of you have dogs??? Yep, we have told her more than a thousand times to NOT leave her food lying were Jack can get it...he got it...and I started to lose it. Mostly because I was tired but also because we go through this ALL the time.

When I gained my composure (she didn't even know I lost it), I made her left over mac and cheese and a handful of frozen peas. Yes, the child LOVES frozen peas. Not cooked, folks. Straight out of the bag from the freezer. Hey, who am I to argue, as long as the girl eats some green!

Then I made some cookies and watched her play a new video game that Nona (Todd's Mom) gave her for Christmas. It is really cool and she picked it up in no time. She is sooo smart!! She played that all the way up to bed time and here we are. She just went to bed, Todd is on the Mac, and I am on the PC filling you in.

Now, I want to say thank you to those of you who have emailed and commented me. You have no idea how much it means to me. It really give me encouragement and hope. I had a great texting conversation with Linda (Todd's SMom who is an OB nurse) today. She texted to check in and I was asking her about when we would TTC (try to conceive) again. She said that her office says three cycles but that there is no medical data saying that you can't try after your first cycle. She says that they suggest 3 cycles more to heal the heart than the uterus. So that kinda gave me a light. She also said that AF (ok, acronyms to know...this means Aunt Flo...yes, the very aunt that you either love or hate depending on your situation) should knock on my door in about 4 weeks from my m/c. I studied the calendar and that would mean either the end of the this month or the beginning of the next. I consider myself agnostic when it comes to religion so I am not much on prayer. However, I am not much on the lottery either but, if you play and win then what the heck. I guess what I am saying is, if prayer is your belief and you want to shoot one up for me, I would much appreciate it. Otherwise, positive thoughts, sticky baby dust or fingers crossed would be GREAT and I would owe you HUGE!

I am actually looking forward to tomorrow. I have a gym meeting with my awesome gym pal Amber at 8 AM. I am going to work out until 9, take a shower at the gym then head to Lorraine's for a visit. Then home to hang with Tay for a couple of hours before she leaves and then get the house ready for an in-house date night with T. I am planning on marinating a steak for him, making his fave rosemary red potatoes, a broccoli side dish as well as a HUGE salad! Adult bevs may be on the menu as well as some good convo and a possible cigar for him!

Well, my fingers are feeling like my whacked out back and my screaming inner thighs so I will sign out. Thanks to all of you for being my friends and family...I don't know what I would do without you.

Look out tomorrow! I am starting to find my peace!